Showing posts with label Movie reviews. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Movie reviews. Show all posts

2 Guns | Movie review

2 Guns movie poster large malaysia
Release date in Malaysia: September 19th 2013
Distributor / studio: Sony Pictures / Boom! Studios
Rated: 18
Genre: Action comedy
Running Time: 119 minutes
Director: Baltasar Kormákur
Screenplay: Blake Master
Cast: Denzel Washington, Mark Wahlberg, Paula Patton, Bill Paxton, James Marsden, Fred Ward, Edward James Olmos

Synopsis: An explosive action film that tracks two operatives from competing bureaus who are forced on the run together. But there is a big problem with their unique alliance: Neither knows that the other is an undercover federal agent. When their attempt to infiltrate a Mexican drug cartel and recover millions goes haywire, Trench & Stigman are suddenly disavowed by their superiors. Now that everyone wants them in jail or in the ground, the only person they can count on is the other. Unfortunately for their pursuers, when good guys spend years pretending to be bad, they pick up a few tricks along the way.


Verdict: This film proves that a formulaic bromance concept filled with corny cliches can still be highly entertaining and fun to sit through if it has the right pair of actors to partner up with tight on-screen chemistry. The typical plot and predictability are a non-issue as viewers may likely be amused by the hilarious quick wit and veteran charm of both Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg, despite having them portray same personality as they always do in movies they act in. With Paula Patton wooden acting but does enough as an eye candy, 2Guns passes with flying colours as the less slapstick and more brutal version of The Other Guys.

Girlfriend's opinion: "Very funny, better than I had expected; good performance from the two."

Malaysian censorship: Angles with the appearance of Paula Patton's pair of nipples were cut at the premiere screening (thankfully we can see them on online) along with one dialogue that's strangely chopped off as well. It's strange 'cause the whole movie's already filled with vulgar phrases anyway. With inconsistency of our local board of film censorship, we shouldn't be surprised actually.

Rating: 3.5 / 5

[SPOILER SECTION BEGINS HERE]--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How corny the ending is: 2 men against THREE DIFFERENT GROUPS of bad guys which kicks off out in the open where bullets can come from any direction. They could've just let 'em fight each other out for the money that they're after and then shoot from afar (since Mark Wahlberg's character Stig is a sharp shooter in the story) but nooOOoo, they just have to do the Mr. & Mrs. Smith corny bullshit. Fortunately the ending didn't spoil the entire film for me.

2 guns denzel washington & mark wahlberg blow up money movie still meme

Mark Wahlberg has something against Prius or is he advertising for Toyota?

Mark Wahlberg Prius meme from The Other Guys & 2 Guns


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Malavita | Movie review

Malavita movie Poster malaysia large
US official title: The Family
Release date in Malaysia: September 19th 2013
Distributor / studio: GSC Movies / Malavita
Rated: 18
Genre: Action comedy
Running Time: 120 minutes
Director: Luc Besson
Writer: Tonino Benacquista, Luc Besson, Michael Caleo
Cast: Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Tommy Lee Jones, Dianna Agron, John D'Leo

Synopsis: Follows Manzonis, a notorious mafia family who gets relocated to France under the witness protection program. While they do their best to fit in, old habits die hard and they soon find themselves handling things the "family" way. Michelle Pfeiffer will play Robert De Niro's wife who has a penchant for arson when crossed.


Verdict: Perhaps one of the better films under the direction of Luc Besson, but that doesn't mean it's good. It's not even a decent waste of time. But close though. It's all about a family of a former mafia boss that's hiding from being assassinated, coping in a country they're not familiar with, dealing with an extremely strict FBI agent (played by Tommy Lee Jones, yeah, awesome to see his grumpy acting again) who's trying protect them. All of that portrayed with a very small dose of dull dark humour and zero chemistry from the great huge veteran actors. If it wasn't for the beautiful Dianna Agron, I probably would've dozed off. Also, it's a great mystery why Besson thought it's okay not to at least explain why and how the protagonist Giovanni (Robert De Niro) snitched, which got his family in this current state. Worst of all is the film's very short climax, leading to an abrupt ending which makes this whole film seem absolutely pointless. Malavita, or The Family, has little entertainment value, even when compared to We're the Millers.

Girlfriend's opinion: "Funny but quite forgettable. I can't even remember much of it already."

What Malavita means: It means "badfellas", "underworld" or "gangland" in Italian.

Dianna Agron... proves here that she's one of those very rare actresses who can look smoking hot and extremely seductive without huge tits or showing much skin.

Malaysian censorship: The word 'fuck' plays quite a role in the movie so no vulgarities were censored at the press screening. The scene completely chopped off is the love scene involving Dianna Agron... damn it.

Rating: 1.5 / 5

Movie stills / images: View 'em here.

[SPOILER SECTION BEGINS HERE]--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Uncommon things can you learn from this movie: That the French are assholes, they're easily amazed by a somebody from America and for reasons not explained, peanut butter is not popular in their country.

Malavita The Family movie stills meme featuring Addams Family We're the Millers


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Prisoners (2013) | Movie review

prisoners movie poster malaysia 2013 hugh jackman jake gyllenhaal
Release date in Malaysia: September 20th 2013
Distributor / studio: Nusantara (NEF) / Alcon Ent.
Rated: 18
Genre: Thriller, mystery, suspense
Running Time: 152 minutes
Director: Denis Villeneuve
Writer: Aaron Guzikowski
Cast: Jake Gyllenhaal, Hugh Jackman, Terrence Howard and Melissa Leo

Synopsis: Revolves around a small-town carpenter named Keller (Hugh Jackman) whose young daughter and her best friend are kidnapped. After the cops fail to find them, Keller takes the law into his own hands, but in the process runs up against Detective Loki, a hot shot cop with confidence to burn, assigned to the case.


Verdict: This is definitely one of its genre's greatest within the decade, along with the likes of Zodiac (2007) and Memories of Murder (2003). Although the story of Prisoners relies on a few coincidences, the script is very well written and masterfully orchestrated by the mystery specialist Villeneuve. Along with the strong performance by cast (an overkill one by Hugh Jackman) and horror-like gripping cinematography, this highly enjoyable flick may be looking at an Oscar nomination or two. Movie-goers who prefer the usual fast-paced, no-brainer Hollywood stuffs may not appreciate the seemingly slower pacing of the film, which is totally required to develop the characters, engage emotionally, build up the suspense and keep the audience guessing. Although I understand that the film has its purpose, it may have been tastier if the ending's 30 seconds shorter 'cause that would leave a deeper, darker mark (watch it & you'd get what I mean).

Girlfriend's opinion: "It's good but is it just me or is it too slow paced?"

Malaysian censorship: Nothing for notably censored. All F-bombs intact with a considerably graphic scene. The Malay & Chinese subtitles are poor translations though, almost hilarious. "You're getting heavier." => "Kau semakin gemuk." "I found these and some other shit." => literally translated to Chinese.

Rating: 4 / 5

[SPOILER SECTION BEGINS HERE]--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Religious purpose of the film: I'm an atheist but I'm all for movies that are brilliant enough to leave barely noticeable signs of religion either to promote a religion or just to provoke thoughts. In this case for me, Prisoners got me thinking about it. You see? Very smart. So in the film, it is revealed that the couple, who kidnap children, do it to get families to lose faith in their religion. This is to "start a war against god" 'cause they blame god for not preventing their son from dying of cancer. Throughout the movie, Keller Dover (Hugh Jackman) has never lost faith and prays at the beginning right before his son shoots the deer, whenever he's about to torture the suspect that might have kidnapped his daughter and even when it seems that both he and his daughter may die together in the hole. He just holds on to his faith, prays and in the end they all survived, saved by the detective by the name of Loki (name of a god in Norse mythology). That's all I managed to decipher on my own at the moment. Pretty sure some geek would come up with a more detailed writeup about this in days to come.

Two convincing messages: One, bad things could happen when you least expected it so you can never be too careful (particularly in Malaysia these days, please don't let your children go out alone!). Two, parents would do anything for their children so don't fuck with little kids, people!

Standout scene: The part where Keller Dover notices that he's being followed by Detective Loki (Jake Gyllenhaal) and goes confronting him. In the car, Dover has to hide his secret of imprisoning suspect Alex Jones (Paul Dano) without being suspicious while being angry (that Loki still hasn't found his missing daughter), sad and miserable at the same time. "It's day six and everyday she's wondering why I'm not there to rescue her. Me! Not you!" *Slams the car's dashboard hard twice* What an intense performance by Mr. Wolverine!

Loki Jake Gyllenhaal vs Wolverine Hugh Jackson in Prisoners movie still meme

Loki versus The Joker's minion (David Dastmalchian from The Dark Knight)?

David Dastmalchian as Thomas Schiff vs. Batman Loki Jake Gyllenhaal Prisoners movie still meme


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Detective Conan: Private Eye in the Distant Sea | Movie review

Detective Conan Private Eye on Distant Sea movie poster large malaysia case closed anime
Japanese title: 名探偵コナン 絶海の探偵
Alternative English title: Case Closed: Private Eye in the Distant Sea
Release date in Malaysia: September 12th 2013 (GSC JFF 2013 only)
Rated: P13
Distributor / studio: GSC Movies / TMS Entertainment
Language: Japanese
Subtitles: English, Chinese, Malay
Genre: Animation
Running Time: 110 minutes
Director: Shizuno Kobun
Cast: Takayama Minami, Yamazaki Wakana, Koyama Rikiya

Synopsis: The movie is set on a state-of-the art Aegis vessel with the full co-operation of Japan's real-life Ministry of Defense and Maritime Self-Defense Force. The corpse of a Self-Defense Force member has been found — minus the left arm and a spy has infiltrated the Aegis vessel. The heroine Ran is put in jeopardy, and Conan is forced to stand up against the dangerous Spy "X”.


Verdict: I've never read the Detective Conan manga series or watch any of its animes and watching this film sort of made me glad that I didn't. Maybe I'm just too old for this? Simply put, Case Closed: Private Eye in the Distant Sea may be passable to old fans but to the audience like myself, it'd be just one hell of a boring Japanese cartoon about the Sherlock Holmes-cum-James Bond titular protagonist that appears like a kid going around solving an uninteresting murder case on a ship 'cause it's all talk, totally dull with no character conflicts, action-less, typical anime logic, and again, the case is not intriguing at all. The predictable, cheesy ending is so unintentionally hilarious, I almost feel embarrassed to be in the cinema hall. Not to mention about the pointless, cheap, laggy 3D CGI's. Maybe little kids might like the movie, that is if they're educated enough to read and understand the tiny and fast subtitles.

Girlfriend's opinion: "I'm a fan of the comics but not this film."

Opinion of a father who's with his kid: "Not very nice to watch."

Malaysian censorship: A patriotic Japanese kids anime with absolutely nothing to censor and yet this film's classified as P13 along with all the other films released recently that have topics of sex and violence. #ApaNih

Rating: 1 / 5

Detective Conan sex hentai meme


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The Internship | Movie review

The Internship movie poster large malaysia
Release date in Malaysia: September 12th 2013
Distributor / studio: 20th Century Fox / Regency Enterprise, Dune Entertainment, more...

Rated: P13
Genre: Comedy
Running Time: 119 minutes
Director: Shawn Levy
Writers: Vince Vaughn, Jared Stern
Cast: Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, Rose Byrne, Max Minghella

Synopsis: THE INTERNSHIP stars Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn as salesmen whose careers have been torpedoed by the digital world. Trying to prove they are not obsolete, they defy the odds by talking their way into a coveted internship at Google, along with a battalion of brilliant college students. But, gaining entrance to this utopia is only half the battle. Now they must compete with a group of the nation’s most elite, tech-savvy geniuses to prove that necessity really is the mother of re-invention.


Verdict: Light-hearted, great quick-talking chemistry between Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn, suitable for all ages, straightforward, positive and may be somewhat encouraging for the older audience who thinks that there's no future for dinosaurs, but the problem about the film is that it fails as a comedy. It's just not very funny, especially when its best jokes were already shown in trailers. Its humour is too light, too inoffensive, predictable and in some scenes, pointlessly draggy. The movie feels like a 2-hour brand placement or PR commercial for Google, and it's not like we don't already know how awesome it is to work at Google. And we know that through this video-sharing website... what's it called again? Ah, right, YouTube. So with all that being said, The Internship is basically just like a cliche-filled sex-less teen flick at a fun college campus-like workplace featuring two losers who set out to prove themselves worthy.

Girlfriend's opinion: "Quite interesting to me; it has my kind of jokes."

Malaysian censorship: Can't really recall any scenes cut. There's really nothing to cut anyway. [UPDATE:] Apparently they censored a bit in the night club scene for general screenings.

Rating: 2 / 5

Movie stills / images: View 'em here.

[SPOILER SECTION BEGINS HERE]--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What The Internship tells you about Google: All foods & drinks there are free (again, like we don't already know), internship there is more like a fun teenage team-building camp that allows candidates to fool around (with their employees too), you don't get paid during the internship process but there actually isn't any real work at all, you don't learn anything from the process, Google is like an autocratic company ('cause one person alone gets to decide who to hire), and the whole internship process can be either rigged, one-sided or just totally unfair (the winning team only won one task whereas the main rival won all the rest; no mention about the other teams and Google only chose to employ the winning team regardless of how useless some of its members are and how more qualified other teams' members may be; also, the winning team has a team manager who's already a Google employee).




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Grown Ups 2 | Movie review

Grown Ups 2 poster large
Release date in Malaysia: September 5th 2013
Rated: P13
Distributor / studio: Sony Pictures / Happy Madison
Genre: Comedy
Running Time: 101 minutes
Director: Dennis Dugan
Writers: Adam Sandler, Tim Herlihy, Fred Wolf
Cast: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, Salma Hayek, Maya Rudolph, Maria Bello, Nick Swardson

Synopsis: The all-star comedy cast from Grown Ups returns (with some exciting new additions) for more summertime laughs. Lenny (Adam Sandler) has relocated his family back to the small town where he and his friends grew up. This time around, the grown ups are the ones learning lessons from their kids on a day notoriously full of surprises: the last day of school.


Verdict: It's no longer about a few old friends getting together with a meaningful purpose. This pointless sequel's about how fun their lives are turning out to be in idiot town. Who actually thought it'd be worthwhile watching a bunch of "grown ups" trying to learn how to burp, sneeze and fart subsequently? The answer's Adam Sandler, the co-producer, co-writer and lead actor of this film, which tries to amuse its audience with plenty of gross and cleavage "humour". It's also like a number of bad commercials merged into a film 'cause practically every scene ends with unintelligent one-liner sitcom-like jokes. Does Grown Ups 2 deserve the "Worst Summer Movie of 2013" title? Maybe, but I had more laughs watching this than the completely unfunny Red 2.

Girlfriend's opinion: "Quite funny but immediately forgettable."

Cool new cast for minor roles: Shaquille O'Neal (with a random NBA inside joke which I was probably the only one in the cinema hall who got it), Stone Cold Steve Austin (WWE hall of fame wrestler), the Lonely Island (Andy Samberg and the rest), and Taylor Lautner (who stole the show by the way).

Rob Schneider: One of the five main characters from the first film, Rob Hilliard, is missing and they wrote the script it like as though he never existed. Sandler must think all movie-goers are fools or something. Anyway Schneider didn't return to play the role 'cause apparently he and Sandler are not in good terms anymore. To be honest, he wasn't missed, but the two hot daughters of his character's were.

Malaysian censorship: Only two scenes are noticeably censored but I saw them at local cinemas in trailers and making-of. Plenty of cleavages, bad family influence and disgusting scenes and the film's classified as P13 here but some movies that aren't even as bad as this were classified as 18. Our local board of film censorship is fucking brilliant, I tell you.

Rating: 1 / 5

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How stupid this movie actually is: The cops here can open fire and get drunk like nobody's business. Lenny Feder (Sandler) accidentally breaks his son's leg and still able to make jokes (how his son can be discharged from the hospital within the same day is pretty dumb as well). His daughter whines in the entire movie about wanting her monkey stuffed toy back and when she does, she uses it to get a deer to attack the guy that's beating her dad up, which in the first scene she complained that the stuffed toy was ruined by the deer that was actually from somewhere else so how the hell it got to their place and how did she know that the deer was going to be there? This happens at the end of the film during the 80s themed party where a "gang fight" break out between a group of college kids and the families who allow their house wives, little children and pregnant ladies join in the battle. Before that, there's a scene where they sort of reused the idea from the first film, Dennis "Tommy" Cavanaugh (Stone Cold Steve Austin) deliberately allows Lenny to win in their fight just so that Lenny's son can learn to stand up against bullies. At the end of the film, Lenny is actually proud of himself for being able to do the burp-sneeze-fart combo. The 80s themed party thing, does anyone wanna bet that in a few years time, there'll be a movie with a party that has a 90s theme? At least it's not done in over dozens of movies yet.

If this movie was screened at VMA 2013:

Grown Ups 2 deer pissing urinating scene meme with Miley Cyrus VMA performance reaction from Will Smith's family and others


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Riddick | Movie review

Riddick 2013 large movie poster malaysia
Release date in Malaysia: September 6th 2013
Distributor / studio: Nusantara Edaran Filem / Media Rights Capital, Radar Pictures, One Race Films

Rated: 18
Genre: Sci-fi action thriller
Running Time: 116 minutes
Director: David Twohy
Writers: David Twohy, Oliver Butcher, Stephen Cornwell
Cast: Vin Diesel, Jordi Mollà, Matt Nable, Karl Urban, Katee Sackhoff

Synopsis: Betrayed by his own kind and left for dead on a desolate planet, Riddick fights for survival against alien predators and becomes more powerful and dangerous than ever before. Soon bounty hunters from throughout the galaxy descend on Riddick only to find themselves pawns in his greater scheme for revenge. With his enemies right where he wants them, Riddick unleashes a vicious attack of vengeance before returning to his home planet of Furya to save it from destruction.


Verdict: Not bad for a lower budget blockbuster. Starts off thrillingly fun with our titular hero on survival mode against alien creatures before a little game of hunting the hunters. The CGI of the creatures are only passable for its budget but their presence is very convincing (the environment/background is a bit sketchy though). After that, the script gets really lazy with overly corny dialogues and child's play climax, failing to satisfy all the way to the end of the movie. If Vin Diesel against The Rock wasn't enough for you, here you'd get to see him battling Batista a bit. Riddick is simple old-skool entertainment but certainly does enough to intrigue me to check out the previous two films in the Chronicles of Riddick franchise 'cause this one doesn't tell much about the protagonist's background and what happened in the past.

Girlfriend's opinion: "Poor graphics but still it's entertaining."

Malaysian censorship: Our dear local board of censorship is back doin' their thang, allowing all vulgarity and graphic violence but not nudity or sex. Is our sex crime rate way higher than violent assault and murder?

Rating: 3 / 5

[SPOILER SECTION BEGINS HERE]--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Favourite quote: From Riddick (Vin Diesel) to Dahl (Katee Sackoff) - "Nice toe nail polish colour." "Thanks, it's predator pink." "Like the colour of your nipples."

Plot holes: The people hunting Riddick are so incompetent, he could easily sneak in, out and top of their ships that are in the middle of a desert. Apparently even with all the futuristic advanced technology they have, intruder alert system and CCTV's do not seem to exist here. Perhaps the biggest flaw in the script is that there's a scene where they allow this bounty hunter idiot to kill Riddick even though they've already confirmed with each other earlier that without the nodes (battery-like cartridges to run their spaceships) that Riddick stolen and hid, there's no way that any of them could leave this dangerous unknown planet.

Riddick is practically Chuck Norris in space...

Riddick movie stills - space chuck norris riddick meme


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jOBS | Movie review

jOBS movie poster large malaysia
Release date in Malaysia: September 5th 2013
Rated: U
Distributor / studio: GSC Movies / Five Star Feature Films, Endgame Entertainment

Genre: Biography drama
Running Time: 127 minutes
Director: Joshua Michael Stern
Writer: Matt Whiteley
Cast: Ashton Kutcher, Dermot Mulroney, James Wood, J.K. Simmons

Synopsis: We follow Steve Jobs from the enthusiasm and self-discovery of his youth through his darkest days, brightest triumphs, and the ultimate power of his drive, his passions, and his undying will to change everything we thought possible. Dark, honest, and uncompromising, "Jobs" plunges into the depths of Steve Jobs' character, uncovering his driving motivations, his gifts, his flaws, his failures, and his ultimate successes.


Verdict: One of the most innovative man portrayed in a relatively un-innovative film. They could've "made Apple cool again" with jOBS but instead, they've made biographical dramas uncool again; all thanks to its poorly written cheesy 80s-TV-drama-like script and cowardly unambitious approach. Emotionally engaging performance by Ashton Kutcher as the great late Apple co-founder and CEO, particularly in the important events of the man that are enjoyable to watch but only the ones involving Apple managed to make it to this movie. Pixar, collaboration & rivalry with Bill Gates, reconciliation with his daughter Lisa, etc. - all that are skipped here. The film just flips through points of the man's life without continuity or any real development on the story. Fortunately, there's already a better film made about Steve Jobs AND Bill Gates - Pirates of Silicon Valley - released 14 years ago straight to TV. It's more engaging and if Jobs really hated that one like he said, just imagine if he's still alive today.

Girlfriend's opinion: "Quite nice but seems a bit rushed."

Ashton Kutcher vs. Noah Wyle as Steve Jobs: Kutcher's performance in jOBS is actually okay but Wyle's in Pirates of Silicon Valley was simply too difficult to top. Kutcher's acting as Jobs does look a little unnatural whereas Wyle's face and body size and shape just resembled the younger Jobs more and his powerful performance was backed with a truthful, well-written screenplay that jOBS lacked of.

Malaysian censorship: Foul languages are muted. Nothing else to censor.

Rating: 2 / 5

Movie stills / images: View 'em here.

[SPOILER SECTION BEGINS HERE]--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An example of what I mean by "without continuity and real story development":

Steve Jobs meme movie stills


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We're the Millers | Movie review

We're the Millers large movie poster malaysia
Release date in Malaysia: August 29th 2013
Rated: 18
Distributor / studio: Warner Bros. Pictures / New Line Cinema
Genre: Comedy
Running Time: 110 minutes
Director: Rawson Thurber
Writers: Bob Fisher, Steve Faber, Sean Anders, John Morris
Cast: Jennifer Aniston, Jason Sudeikis, Emma Roberts, Nick Offerman, Kathryn Hahn, Will Poulter, Ed Helms

Synopsis: A veteran pot dealer creates a fake family as part of his plan to move a huge shipment of weed into the U.S. from Mexico.


Verdict: We could all easily guess that the main characters are gonna have a major break up in the final third of the film but end up all happily together before the closing credit rolls, and sure, the trailers spoilt quite a number of the better scenes. However, it still managed to crack me up sufficiently. To begin with, how can any dude dislike a movie with the still-hot Jennifer Aniston stripping down to her undies like that? We're the Millers is definitely one of the better formulaic comedies of the year thus far. The plot's simple with loose ends and overuse of coincidental issues-encountering (commonly seen in road trip comedies very much like this one) and convenient let offs but at no point the film indicates that it wants to be taken seriously. Just lighten up and you may enjoy this pretty obscene and vulgar family comedy. On Jason Sudeikis, however, I strongly suggest he stays with SNL 'cause he didn't show why somebody else couldn't have easily replaced him in this movie.

Girlfriend's opinion: "Way funnier than The Heat."

Malaysian censorship: I believe Jennifer Aniston's stripper scenes at the beginning were cut short where as the mosaics in the two other scenes might be the work of our local board of censorship as well. However, at the press screening at least, all vulgarities were intact so you're likely able to enjoy this film at all its glory at local cinemas.

Rating: 3 / 5

Jennifer Aniston strips in We're the Millers movie still meme

Movie stills / images: View 'em here.

[SPOILER SECTION BEGINS HERE]--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Favourite scene: The part where Casey (Emma Roberts) teaches Kenny (Will Poulter) how to make out and then Rose/Sarah (Jennifer Aniston) joins in. They keep taking turns to kiss to allow Kenny to practice while David (Jason Sudeikis) watches while eating and taking pictures with his phone. The girl from the other family that Kenny likes walks in and gets the shock of her life, thinking that the Millers are one sick incestuous family. Not sure if I liked the scene 'cause it's really hilariously dumb, or 'cause it's kinky.

Hilarious and yet nostalgic NG take: The NG takes shown at the end may be staged but it's still fun to watch. In the take that they're supposed to shoot the singalong scene in the RV, the theme song from Friends ("I'll Be There For You") were played instead of TLC's "Waterfalls" (which is the actual song scripted to be in this scene), teasing Jennifer Aniston, who was one of the main cast of this popular 90s sitcom that essentially helped kick off her successful acting career. While the others were laughing and singing along, all Aniston could do was facepalm embarrassingly and say, "That was good." Indeed it was. Gosh, I miss Friends... and the 90s. Maybe that's why I liked this film.

Do people actually "ear-fuck"? I can confirm with you that it does not feel good 'cause I was curious...

Jason Sudeikis ear-fucked in We're the Millers movie still meme


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Welcome to the Punch | Movie review

Welcome to the Punch movie poster large malaysia
Release date in Malaysia: August 29th 2013
Distributor / studio: GSC Movies / Worldview Ent.
Rated: 18
Genre: Action, crime, thriller, drama
Running Time: 99 minutes
Director & writer: Eran Creevy
Cast: James McAvoy, Mark Strong, Andrea Riseborough, David Morrissey

Synopsis: Former criminal Jacob Sternwood is forced to return to London from his Icelandic hideaway when his son is involved in a heist gone wrong. This gives detective Max Lewinsky one last chance to catch the man he has always been after. As they face off, they start to uncover a deeper conspiracy they both need to solve in order to survive.


Verdict: A slow, humourless, predictable action thriller with spectacular, powerful gun action sequences forced by characters with overly poor aiming and needlessness to reload. Seriously, 3 guys against 1 seated down facing each other and yet they require like dozen of bullets each to hit that one guy. The cast's performance is strong but unfortunately it's for a depth-less plot, which Eran Creevy resolves to confuse with in order to intrigue. Ultimately, Welcome to the Punch is just not very fun to sit through. If anyone tells you they liked this film, it's likely that they're just being pretentious.

Welcome to the Punch gun action scene meme

Girlfriend's opinion: "Pretty boring at the beginning and then it becomes confusing and cool at the same time. By the way, why's the title Welcome to the Punch?"

Malaysian censorship: I think it was completely uncut at the local press screening. Other than the language, there isn't really anything to chop anyway. You can actually watch it at home, the film was already released elsewhere much earlier this year.

Rating: 1.5 / 5

Movie stills / images: View 'em here.

[SPOILER SECTION BEGINS HERE]--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Most memorable quote: "I'm paid to catch crooks, not get them elected," says Max Lewinsky (James McAvoy) in a scene to brush off political campaign manager Jane Badham (Natasha Little).

You call this an ending...? After like an hour of an unimpressive so-called "cat-and-mouse game" between the police detective Max and his long-time wanted criminal Jacob Sternwood (Mark Strong), they... fucking team up (ha-ha-ha) to fight against the real bad guy who's revealed to be, of course, the police chief Thomas Geiger (David Morrissey from AMC's The Walking Dead). Anyone who's seen too many cliched films of this genre would've guessed it from the start. The end climax comes down to a final showdown at "Punch 119" or "The Punch", which is one of the containers at a container yard. Funny thing is that how Max and Sternwood find this place is by coincidentally seeing a note on his dead partner's (Andrea Riseborough) hand, which doesn't make sense 'cause even I, a non-police detective, could remember "Punch 119" without jotting it down anywhere. How she easily gives up and gets killed in the film is kinda stupid as well but I'm not gonna discuss that scene. Anyway, in this container, weapons were set up by Geiger to be smuggled by scapegoats who'll be caught for political purposes. One of the scapegoats is Sternwood's son, who dies earlier in the film, which pisses him off. In the end, they kill Geiger and very predictably again, Max lets Sternwood go instead of arresting him. Max's leg is fucked up, causing him to become a wreck for years and yet this idiot's able to team up with him, trust him so easily and lets him go even though he should be hating him to the bones. Police arrives and Max stands there like an idiot and raises his hands to be arrested and face accusations of murder, assaulting colleagues, and smuggling weapons. But of course, the closing credit rolls. Why? 'Cause director-writer Eran Creevy probably had no idea how else to end this garbage movie of his.

Andy Garcia, Mark Strong & Dimitar Berbatov


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Kick-Ass 2 | Movie review

Kick Ass 2 movie poster large malaysia
Release date in Malaysia: August 29th 2013
Distributor / studio: United International Pictures / Plan B Entertainment, Marv Films
Rated: 18
Genre: Action comedy, superhero
Running Time: 103 minutes
Director & writer: Jeff Wadlow
Cast: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Chloë Grace Moretz, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Morris Chestnut, John Leguizamo, Donald Faison and Jim Carrey

Synopsis: Kick-Ass, Hit Girl and Red Mist return for the follow-up to 2010’s irreverent global hit: Kick-Ass 2. After Kick-Ass’ (Aaron Taylor- Johnson) insane bravery inspires a new wave of self-made masked crusaders, led by the badass Colonel Stars and Stripes (Jim Carrey), our hero joins them on patrol. When these amateur superheroes are hunted down by Red Mist (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) - reborn as The Mother Fucker - only the blade-wielding Hit Girl (Chloë Grace Moretz) can prevent their annihilation.


Verdict: A fall from cool, dark, witty, satirical, shocking and skillful action choreography to teen flick-cliched comedy with predictable jokes, senseless gore, straightforward cinematography and poor editing (one scene is noticeably reused). Not anywhere near to being as good as the first Kick-Ass film (2010). Matthew Vaughn is greatly missed due to the horrible script and unintriguing narrative by Jeff Wadlow. Perhaps the greatest disappointment to me, personally, is that Jim Carrey isn't being very Jim Carrey here and his role is not as big as indicated in the trailers. However, although the movie is not great and is certified rotten on Rotten Tomatoes, it's certainly a more enjoyable cliched-flick than the surprisingly certified fresh The Wolverine (2013).

Girlfriend's opinion: "I didn't watch the first film but this one's funny to me." With that being said, I guess those who haven't seen the first film could actually go ahead and watch this one without worrying that you'd get lost. I personally would recommend them to skip this one, just watch the first one instead and then wait for the home media of this sequel to release.

Surprise guest appearance: Retired MMA fighter, UFC Hall of Famer - Chuck Liddell. The whole scene's pretty much a UFC product placement. Wonder how much they sponsored or got sponsored just for that?

Malaysian censorship: Sex, nudity, hand-chopping, body-stabbing and probably more scenes like that were cut, but a guy getting ran over by a car was not. Our dearest local board of censorship must be proud of themselves for preventing full enjoyment of the movie. At least they did not censor the vulgarities like they did with the first film.

Post-credit scene: There is one but probably not worth waiting for. I didn't bother 'cause it was freakin' cold in the cinema hall.

Moretz's stinging comment on another sequel: "I would only do the third one if it was logical. It needs to be a good script and a director, probably Matthew (Vaughn). The third film needs to fully wrap up the series and has to be a good note to end on." Quite clearly, she thought Jeff Wadlow (director & writer of this film) was rubbish too.

Rating: 2.5 / 5

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How predictable some scenes are: "Don't just say fine and then shoot me in the chest, it's not cool at all." Gets shot. "If you don't hold that gun tight, you're gonna get hit by the recoil." "Shut up, don't need you to teach me this!" Fires gun and gets hit. There's also an outdated Batman-Robin reference joke. Then also a scene at the beginning of the film where they talk about a syringe that obviously will come to use at the end of the film. Am I having a laugh?

Realistic my balls! Mark Millar, the writer of the original comics that this movie was based on, proclaims that Kick-Ass is a realistic superhero story. Maybe it is in his graphic novels but this film adaptation of the sequel... hell no. A 15 year-old little girl can survive battling a strong, built Russian criminal who easily destroy 5 cars of cops. None of the villains rape any chick. Superhero's dog's life is spared. Dangerous road situation where guns are being fired in a moving vehicle with a little girl on top of it but cars around aren't surprised at all, just minding their own business instead of stopping or keeping their distance and call the police even when bodies are flying out of it. The police here are portrayed as a bunch of useless buggers who they can't stop, find or arrest a bunch of masked idiots who walk around playing evil villains openly and have their social media channels updated frequently (wonder how they catch robbers with masks then?).

Jim Carrey as Colonel Stars & Stripes in Kick-Ass 2 meme

Kick-Ass 2 still meme


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Elysium | Movie review

Elysium movie poster large malaysia
Release date in Malaysia: August 22th 2013
Distributor / studio: Sony Pictures / Media Rights Capital, Alpha Core
Rated: 18
Genre: Science Fiction, sci-fi action
Running Time: 109 minutes
Director & writer: Neill Blomkamp
Cast: Matt Damon, Jodie Foster, Sharlto Copley, Alice Braga, Diego Luna, William Fichtner, Wagner Moura

Synopsis: In the year 2159, two classes of people exist: the very wealthy, who live on a pristine man-made space station called Elysium, and the rest, who live on an overpopulated, ruined Earth. Secretary Delacourt (Jodie Foster) will stop at nothing to preserve the luxurious lifestyle of the citizens of Elysium – but that doesn’t stop the people of Earth from trying to get in by any means they can. Max (Matt Damon) agrees to take on a life-threatening mission, one that could bring equality to these polarized worlds.


Verdict: Neill Blomkamp was either lazy, or has shown that he's a one-trick pony. Shamelessly, he reused his brilliant premise of District 9 to film this formulaic, cheesy, poorly written, flaw-filled, rushed and yet largely boring, sci-fi action flick. However, compared to the other post-apocalyptic dystopian-themed movies released earlier this year such as Oblivion and After Earth, Elysium's perhaps the better film in terms of visuals and purpose (the premise portrays the cruelty of social class divide but that sorta sounds familiar, no?). But if you're looking for something as groundbreakingly fresh as Blomkamp's successful directorial debut, or a movie with plenty of great futuristic action sequences at least, it probably won't satisfy you. You'd be very surprised just how poorly Oscar award winner Jodie Foster acted here. Well actually, none of the characters were well written anyway, leaving the cast no choice but to put on a cliched performance.

Second opinion: "Quite entertaining and touching; the acting's good and story's okay as well" (girlfriend).

Malaysian censorship: Don't recall if there's anything cut, even if there was, it probably wasn't important. This film isn't as gory or violent as District 9 anyway.

Rating: 2.5 / 5

Movie stills & images: View 'em here.

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The exoskeleton suit... is a total marketing gimmick for the film. It doesn't really do anything special in the movie. It's supposed to provide the protagonist Max Da Costa (Matt Damon) superhuman strength while supporting his weak body after getting exposed to critical radiation but it's not that significant. It's practically not required in the plot at all. Blomkamp could've just written the character to deal with the pain with pills. That would've made the character more engaging to me. But too bad the producers wanted big stars and mainstream success so in come the suits to make the move poster look more cool to intrigue target audience to catch the movie.

Plot holes & illogicality: Elysium kicks off with Max mocking the robot authorities for fun and in result, gets his arm injured his parole extended as though he has anywhere else to go. The character must be pretty dumb to do that 'cause having lived his whole life in this current dystopian autocratic world, he should've known better. Then we have these two corrupt characters Jessica Delacourt (Jodie Foster), who's the Secretary of Defense for Elysium, and John Carlyle (William Fitchner), a CEO of the organisation that manufactures the android for the authorities on Earth and the defense on Elysium. Delacourt bribes Carlyle to write a computer program that could reset the system of Elysium and make her the President. YES, a computer program, it's apparently that easy! The idiot transferred the program to his mind and then gets it robbed by Max. Can somebody tell me why couldn't they just use a pendrive or a hard disk and encrypt a password? Isn't that way safer? Now let's talk about our hero's love interest, Frey Santiago (Alice Braga). She begs Max to her dying daughter with him to Elysium to be cured even though she knows the danger that's after him. He refuses but she gets caught by Kruger anyway, supposedly to lure Max in. She gives Max a pissy stare for getting her and the daughter involved in his mess. Hey, didn't the bitch say she didn't mind this to get to Elysium? Then during the cliched climax at the end, Elysium's defense seems a bit thin, making it pretty easy for Max and the illegal immigrants from Earth to cause a stir. Where are all the androids? The few that appear to defend Elysium, why do they suck so badly? It's not like these people are Jedis.

Elysium movie stills meme Matt Damon


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The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones | Movie review

Mortal Instruments City of Bones large movie poster malaysia
Release date in Malaysia: August 22nd 2013
Distributor / studio: GSC Movies / Sony Pictures, Constantin Film & more
Rated: P13
Genre: Action adventure, fantasy, romance
Running Time: 130 minutes
Director: Harald Zwart
Writer: Jessica Postigo Paquette
Cast: Lily Collins, Jamie Campbell Bower, Lena Headey, Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Synopsis: Based on The New York Times bestselling young adult novel, The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones follows the journey of Clary Fray (Mirror Mirror’s Lily Collins), a seemingly ordinary teenager who discovers that she is in fact a descendent from a long line of Shadowhunters, a secret cadre of half-angel warriors locked in an ancient battle to protect our world from assorted demons; a battle largely unseen by human eyes.


Verdict: From watching the film, I can understand why The Mortal Instruments was one of the top young adult fantasy novels. It has an interesting mashup of the anime elements and popular creatures - demons, werewolves, vampires, magic powers, a more open love story with homosexuality and a bit of incest involved (which young girls absolutely love these days), and maybe more in the books. But if I was a fan of the novel series, I'd probably be at least a bit pissed with this adaptation of City of Bones. The book was taken and simply turned it into a typical Hollywood garbage. Instead of taking a dark and deeper approach which totally suits the premise, the director rushes into subject without proper character development and focuses a lot on the unnecessary cheesy romance drama, making some parts unintentionally hilarious. It's very obvious that this production had no intention of targeting other audiences besides teenagers that won't question inconsistencies, classlessness or why the hell they tried to "Twilight" up a FANTASY film.

Second opinion: "Not interesting; maybe it's better to just read the book" (girlfriend).

Malaysian censorship: I recall only 3 chops - 1 during a kissing scene and 2 more, I believe, were demon creatures being stabbed. Human shooting each other, it's fine. Mutant cutting up plenty of people with his adamantium claws, it's fine as well. But human killing demons, woahhh, cannot. I'm getting tired of finding new ways to stress out just how inconsistent our local board of censorship is.

Rating: 2 / 5

Charity: If you're interested in this movie, why not watch it for a good cause? It doesn't what I think about the film 'cause you might like it more than I did. Donate a minimum of RM15 to the GSC-HOPE community charity project and get a free ticket to catch this film on August 24th 2013. Read more about it here.

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Things accidentally left unexplained or probably just flaws: It's not clear what curse exactly is on Hodge (Jared Harris) that makes him choose to betray the protagonist Clary Fray (Lily Collins). During the climax of the film, he hides around looking on instead of helping his "students" in battle, which he should 'cause this is after Valentine (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) sort of breaks his promise of lifting the curse. His intentions are not explained. Then we have Simon (Robert Sheehan), an ordinary teenager who gets bitten by vampires in the process of the story and becomes stronger (he's able to take down demon Madame Dorothea in one scene) but for unknown reasons, he doesn't get burnt when exposed to sunlight like the other vampires. It is also not explained what happened to the real Madame Dorothea (CCH Pounder). Finally, we have Jace (Jamie Campbell Bower), supposed just another "Shadow Hunter", somehow manages to put up a good one-on-one fight against Valentine, the main villain who's been drinking from the Mortal Cup and experimenting to become more powerful for years.

Clary Fray... is certainly not a likable character by grownups and definitely not one that teen girls should be admire. Instead, they should look at her flaws, which none would, of course. At the beginning of the film, it is clearly shown that she doesn't really listen to her mum or even talk to her when she thinks she's going crazy. Then when her in-danger mum calls her, she doesn't wanna pick until Jace, the guy whom she thinks is a murderer, tells her to 'cause the ringtone is annoying him. Later on, she even scolds and blames her best friend-slash-secret admirer, Simon, for not answering HER mother's calls. She also friendzones Simon clearly because he's not as cool as Jace. Then in the scene where she's supposed to be worried or at least have a lot in her mind, she makes a joke on her werewolf friend who's going to help her. Basically, she's just another dumb American bitch like in most other mainstream American movies. And wait, there's more. Read the below:

Characters too horny? Clary Fray's mum Jocelyn (Lena Headey) gets kidnapped by demons and gets a lot of help from Jace. Never once Clary questions or feel suspicious as to why Jace is helping her, even though she has been warned by him to not trust anyone. Even after her best friend-slash-secret admirer and her mum's high warlock friend Magnus Bane warn her that Jace and the shadow hunters could be using her to get the Mortal Cup, she doesn't even try to consider the fact that Jace and his bunch may be the bad guys as well. Yeah sure, 'cause she's "too in love", right? When Valentine reveals that the Clary and Jace are siblings, Jace tells Clary that "he wish that he could tell her it's not true". Then at the end, he tells her that "his heart doesn't feel that it's true" or "he still (LOL?) doesn't believe that their siblings" or something like that (can't specifically recall). Can't blame him though, Clary's very bang-able.

Clary & Jace meme Mortal Instruments City of Bones movie still - Lily Collins & Jamie Campbell Bower

My "tribute" to Lena Headey:

Lena Headey as Jocelyn Fray, Mama,The Purge, Joffrey's mum - Mother of God meme

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The Purge | Movie review

The Purge movie poster large malaysia
Release date in Malaysia: August 22th 2013
Distributor / studio: United International Pictures / Blumhouse Productions, Platinum Dunes
Rated: 18
Genre: Sci-fi thriller
Running Time: 85 minutes
Director & writer: James DeMonaco
Cast: Ethan Hawke, Lena Headey, Rhys Wakefield, Max Burkholder, Adelaide Kane

Synopsis: If on one night every year, you could commit any crime without facing consequences, what would you do? In The Purge, a speculative thriller that follows one family over the course of a single night, four people will be tested to see how far they will go to protect themselves when the vicious outside world breaks into their home.


Verdict: A brilliant concept went to waste big time largely due to poor execution, convenient sequences, noticeable flaws, home invasion cliches, breakfast cereal commercial-scripting, frustratingly illogical character reactions, incompetent villains and straightforward acting. And instead of coming up with an original scenario, James DeMonaco chose to incorporate his great concept with the home invasion formula that's already been done tens of times (the last most memorable one to me is Panic Room). The Purge is literally too dumb to thrill. However, it does somehow manage to express its point of humanity versus law.

Second opinion: (none, watched it alone at home)

Malaysian censorship: This is yet another film that was released months ago so I didn't have to watch it at the cinema. There are upskirts and a few closeup violent scenes but they're not as bad as the other films that were released here completely uncut. However, with our local authorities, you'd never know.

Rating: 1.5 / 5

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No rape?! I was indeed surprised. All crimes are legal but apparently all the participants want is to murder, not steal, rob or rape. Why they don't steal or rob is understandable 'cause it's said in the movie that unemployment is at 1%. But with little indication of rape, there's only one conclusion I can draw - the director wants to imply that in 2022, America will have so much sluts and broad variety of prostitutes that people wouldn't have the urge for it. Either that or murdering innocent family and kids are more honourable than rape.

Everything started because of this fuckin' kid...

The Purge damn kid charlie meme movie stills images

High five if you laughed at this scene (the last image below):

The Purge movie stills images meme


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Unbeatable (2013) | Movie review

Unbeatable MMA HK movie poster malaysia featuring nick cheung & eddie peng
Chinese title: 激戰
Previously known as: MMA
Release date in Malaysia: August 15th 2013
Rated: P13
Distributor / studio: Ram Entertainment / Bona Film Group, Film Fireworks
Languages: Cantonese, Mandarin
Genre: Mixed martial arts, action, sports drama
Running Time: 117 minutes
Director: Dante Lam
Writers: Dante Lam, Jack Ng, Fung Chi-fung
Cast: Nick Cheung, Eddie Peng, Andy On, Philip Keung, Crystal Lee, Mei Ting

Synopsis: Fai (Nick Cheung), once a world champion in boxing, escapes to Macau from the loan sharks and unexpectedly encounters Qi (Eddie Peng), a young chap who is determined to win an MMA tournament. Fai becomes Qi’s mentor and rediscovers his passion to fight not only in the ring but for his life and the ones he cares.


Verdict: If you're a hardcore fan of MMA (mixed martial arts), you'd find the fight scenes here rather unrealistic and poorly executed; even all the shaky, closeup and zoom in-out camera works failed to cover that up. But that's forgivable, thanks to the film's heartfelt storyline, strong acting performance, decent humour and moral purposes. Nick Cheung Kar Fai is top class for Unbeatable, practically carried the movie with an engaging emotional display without leaving his trademark comedic ways. Eddie Peng, too, plays his innocent, determined character so convincingly that it gets the audience rooting and fearing for him in his fight scenes despite the illogical choreography. The film's biggest issue is that it seems to portray MMA as a dodgy, brutal and fatal sport. However, it narrates the basics of the combat sport effectively.

Second opinion: "For someone who doesn't know much about MMA, I thought the movie's highly entertaining; surprised to find that Crystal Lee's acting here's actually very unnatural & probably not worthy of the Shanghai International Film Festival's Best Actress award she just won from playing this role" (girlfriend).

The English title: Can somebody explain why they decided to change the original title "MMA" of their film to an extremely typical Chinese film English title? After watching the movie, I'm still wondering why they entitled it "Unbeatable".

Malaysian censorship: It's a Chinese sports drama, I'd be surprised if there's anything to cut at all.

Rating: 3.5 / 5

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Things left unexplained: At beginning of the movie, Qi (Eddie Peng) is introduced as a young man from a wealthy family who travels around to mostly small villages. However, his background and the reason why he refuse to spend his father's money are not further clarified. The other thing's that's left unsettled is the loan shark/gangster who gets stabbed by Gwen (Mei Ting). Fai (Nick Cheung) owes these people a large sum of money and is visited by them at his new place in Macau. To fight them off, he injures most of them and Gwen actually stabs the boss. At the end, Fai hands his MMA winnings to his friend who's going back to Hong Kong to help him repay his loan. What makes him think that the gangsters will forgive them just like that? His friend would be kidnap or at least get beaten up.

The portrayal of MMA: It starts off commendably logical. The character, Qi, only trained in Taekwondo before but wishes to participate in an MMA tournament. When he shows the MMA trainer his basic Taekwondo techniques, he's told to learn from scratch. After a sparring match, he's advised to block low kicks with his shin. Due to the lack of time, he's mostly trained to defend and escape from submission attempts instead of attacking as well. Up to that point, I thought this film's very tightly written... until Qi gets his neck severely injured from a belly-to-back suplex by his opponent, which probably never ever happened in the sport before. The character, Fai, places bets on (and against) Qi, who's his student by the way, and also places bets on himself when he fights (and that's how he gets the money to repay his loan at the end). It also seems that both these main characters fight in MMA not because they love the sport or have real passion for it. It's revealed that Qi joins the tournament to inspire his bankrupt dad to start anew while Fai, a former boxing champ, fights as a last resort to redeem himself from his past mistakes. The scenes of post-fight celebrations and commentary are also not very enthusiastic. I then realised that the film probably intends to portray MMA as a dodgy, brutal and fatal combat sport with heavy gambling involved. The tournament in the movie is also pretty dumb. There's no mention about the weight class and has only one fight per event. Winner of the fight gets to pick his next opponent by random while the new challenger only has to survive two rounds to win. So if the new challenger wins the last fight of the season, he becomes the grand champion just like that? Also, I guess the MMA consultant didn't do a great job informing the director about the unified MMA rules 'cause in the fight scenes, we see the fighters striking to the back of the opponent's head and blood being completely wiped off by doctor during a round, which are not allowed, I believe, in any MMA tourneys.

Unbeatable 激戰 Philip Keung Ho-Man & Dante Lam meme

I assure you, this doesn't happen in MMA:

Eddie Peng kisses Nick Cheung in Unbeatable 激戰 movie still image


Unbeatable is presented by TuneTalk, the major sponsor of ONE FC and MIMMA. Special thanks to TuneTalk for the exclusive invitation to the official local premiere screening of the film.

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